Last week, I met with someone who wants crochet versions of some characters for a project he is working on. (And that's all I can say about that, b/c it's top-secret!) While I consider myself a people-person, I find one-on-one meetings like this a bit intimidating. It's a blind date, essentially. Some emailing back and forth, a description of each of our appearances ("I'm blond, pink jacket, and I'll have a bike helmet" -man that sounds bad-ass in hindsight!) Obviously I am not used to these kinds of situations because a) I was always a teacher and not prone to meeting new "clients", b) I have been in a relationship for a long time, and c) I never did blind dates, online dating, etc. (I either didn't date, or I, er, played. ;) )

I was surprised to find myself nervous, all the while knowing that I generally "rock" at these kinds of situations. It was more a case of being out of practice. Out of the two hours we were at this bar, drinking, talking, we probably discussed business for about 20 minutes. I then found myself wondering, "is this normal?" Should we be talking about Wes Anderson films, an old Dell commercial, softball, my family's rocket launches, his going to Studio 54 when he was 16? For some superficial reason I was happy that he had a wedding ring on and had been married for 23 years. But you know, when you're meeting a client who is an older man, and you are a young woman, there's a certain amount of caution that is present. I was more fearful that this project wouldn't be legit than I was about getting hit on. The latter I don't mind and can handle, but a potential creative crochet project going down the drain? Boo. :(

When I stumbled on home, less than a block away, I was more than tipsy but also really excited about meeting someone new who I would have potentially had nothing in common with but instead hit it off more than I expected. I emailed Brenna, telling her at one point that he said, "I never drink this much" and how come I always seem to cause excessive drinking in myself and others at bars? She responded: "You have a connection with people, Lich. That's what's great. They come to you, tell you things they never tell anyone and drink in the meantime." I guess that isn't too far from the truth.

There was such honesty in the way he spoke, describing how he used to get emotional watching shuttle launches or merely thinking about astronauts and their undertakings. Was it drinking, was it meeting someone new, was he always pretty open, was it me? It doesn't really matter, I guess.

If there is one single instance that stands out from the entire night, that hit me like the freight train of emotion I am used to, it is when he responded to a comment I made after I talked about being a teacher and loving children, about how I grew up around a lot of cousins and I was always holding or playing with one. I wish I could remember the exact words, but it was something like, "Yes, I could tell that, that you're good with children and will make a great mother." I have heard a similarly uttered statement countless times, and yet, it always makes my heart jump up into my throat, my body freeze up. How did he know? I spoke so casually about how I used to be a teacher. How could he tell? How can people see that, especially when they don't know me? Regardless of how many times I hear that, and actually because of the number of times, I am scared it will not be true. I feel like all these utterings will jinx me into being a bad mother, or God forbid, never a mother at all. So much hype, what if I don't deliver?

Anyway, in a non-cheesy way, it was magical to me how much insight you can have upon meeting someone new, how in some ways, it doesn't take years and years to know some "important" aspects of one's personalities. I hope it's not just the alcohol, which does tend to open up many people, but something more, in me, in him, in others.